"Hey Goliath! How many does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

It all began with Fang's joke: "Hey Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

A spurt of boredom on the Gargoyles mailing list did the rest:

Denis "Wyrmwolf" De Plaen began this cascade into the depths of darkness and light with:
Q:"How many gargoyles are needed to change a light bulb?"
Hudson: none, cos it's nae the Gargoyle Way!"
Demona: "The hell with this filthy human crap!"
Brooklyn and Broadway:"Leeeexxxx! the bulb's dead!"

Rene Modesto asked for more:
*points and laughs* ehehehEHEHeeheHE. That's funny. :) Now what about Goliath and the rest?

hmmm? ;)

Daniel O'Toole was happy to oblige with this:
Golaith: Trio, take care of the bulb, Hudson, you and Bronx guard the tower. Elisa and I are going to go make out^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H guard the city.
McBeth: I'll not attack a bulb that's out...
Matt: ::to self:: hmmmm... this might be an illuminati test, "I'll change it!!"

Then that strange tigerfellow, Marlos Rawlings (i.e. ME!), broke out with this spammy batch:
Goliath: "What sorcery is this?!?"
Jeffrey Robbins: "The lightbulb's burnt out?"
Xanatos (after the light's been out for the whole of 2 seconds, then replaced): "Thank you Owen."
Puck: "What's a Fae to do? Can't see me, can't see you."
Owen: "I fail to see how it will be easier to get the lightbulb from the gargoyles than from Fox."
Anubis: "The lightbulb has past beyond. Let it rest."
C.Y.O.T.I.: "I was not programmed to expect this. Without definitive orders, the lightbulb gets unchanged."
Claw: "..." (Poor kitty, can't even mime things in the dark)
Oberon: "Such actions are beneath us."
Captain of the Guard: "It was not supposed to be this way."
Nokkar: "You will not take this lightbulb, space spawn."
Vinnie: "N-n-n-not over yet. Oh... this is it: the moment I've been dreamin' of. Lightbulb... prepare to get changed."
Dr. Sevarius: "Typical. You give and give and give, and they burn out on you."
Cuchulainn: "Here it is, Gae Bolga, the bulb of light!"
Fang to Talon: "'Open the door, Fang'. 'Change the lightbulb, Fang'. 'Oh Fang this' and 'Oh Fang that'! For someone who's not in charge, you sure like dishing out orders."
Griff: "Come to help with the lightbulb, have you?"
Archmage: "With the Grimorum and the Phoenix Gate, I'll only need the lightbulb to secure the ultimate power."
Dominique Dracon: "Out of my way, detective. I've been searching for these lightbulbs for 50 years."
Margot: "Change the lightbulb? You have to call a repairman to plug in the toaster, Brendan."
Yama: "Bushido demands that I change the lightbulb alone."
Iago to Coldstone: "See how Goliath steals your lightbulb away."
and everybody's favorite line:
MacBeth: "They burnt lightbulbs like you in the Middle Ages!"

Strangely enough, Wyrmwolf begged for more:
Oh my! I've created this monster joke! I didn't know! I swear!
:::cough and regain composure:::
I loved your lightbulb... huh, lines, Tony! great ones! I was LMAOH for 10 true good honest to God minutes. If you have others from, like Halcyon Renard, Madoc, Sata, the twins, Sharon Nomura, they're welcome to me!

Always happy to oblige, I (still Marlos :P) continued:
more? More. MORE!
(Sorry, couldn't think of one for Sata)
Sharon (TGS): "I'll never change your lightbulb, Takeo!"
Halcyon Renard: "Look at me. I'm dying. Changing lightbulbs is a luxury I can no longer afford."
Ariana & Graeme (TGS): "Do you remember that funny Edison guy?" "Yeah, he was real cool!"
Glasses: "Kill me and there's a hundred more waiting to change that lightbulb."
Asriel (TGS): "Look at my new gadget. It makes light. Well, it did until it burnt out."
Thersites (TGS): "Why spend the time and energy changing the lightbulb? It'll only burn out again."
Hyena: "Ooooo! Bulby-honey, wanna make sparks fly?"
Tony Dracon: "Burnt lightbulbs? Sorry detective, you've got the wrong guy."
Tara (from my fanfics), to Claw: "But you're not a monster. Monsters don't save people; they don't risk themselves for others; and they don't change your lightbulbs in the morning."
Princess Katherine: "We are most displeased. To allow lightbulbs in the dining hall."
Magus: "These are unnatural lightbulbs. No good can come from associating with them."
Demona: "If you can't get rid of all the lightbulbs, then at least rid me of that lightbulb!"
Hudson: "A gargoyle can nae more stop changing the lightbulbs than breathing the air."
Goliath: "Gargoyles change lightbulbs... it is our nature... our purpose. To lose that is to become corrupt, empty, burnt."
Xanatos: "Can you say lightbulb?" Alex: "Goo googah witebub gehehe." Xanatos: "I knew you could."
Travis Marshall: "This it Travis Marshall with a WVRN special report. Lightbulbs exist: urban myths no longer, these bulbs launched a completely unprovoked burn-out on the city's finest."
Demona: "I don't know who's the more foolish: Him for burning out, you for cracking or me for not changing you both."
MacBeth: "Know it? I *changed* it!"
The Wierd Sisters: "You would lecture us on changing lightbulbs?"
Owen: "Changing lightbulbs is its own reward. I thought you'd understand that."
Hakon: "He's the one you want; he shattered them."
Fang: "So whacha got for me, Al? A boom-box, a lightbulb, the Sunday sports section, what?"
Dr. Sevarius: "If it gets any more saccharine in there, I'm going to shove a lightbulb down my throat."

Suffering a relapse, Christine Morgan had this to add:
This is madness ... I thought of another lightbulb thing ...
Puck: "Did you say that _lightbulb_ or _that_ lightbulb?"

Help! Next I'll be doing them for my fanfic people! It'll be the chicken jokes all over again! Aaaaaaaa!

And then, via ICQ, Wyrmwolf strikes again with:
suggestion for a lightbulb
Marie (TGS): There's an evil spirit in this lightbulb
Maddox (TGS):"It can't be Maevis O'Connor who burned the lightbulb, She's the closest person to me."
Dr Goldblum (TGS):"If I could fing Servarius's notes, I'll be able to change this lightbulb. But It'll take time."

To let no bad deed go unrepeated, Daniel O'Toole came up with this:
Hey, no one has done a Lexington one yet...
Here's one:

Lexington: Oh, I already took care of it. I wasn't quite sure how to do it at first so I tapped into the Pentagon's mainframe, but they didn't appear to know either so I broke into the power station's network. I just downloaded some files and changed the bulb. While I was at it I also upgraded the power station's power monitoring system so it should be about 23% more efficient now. Pretty simple...if you know what you're doing. ::wink at Angela::

I didn't say it'd be good...

Here's a few more. I really need to concentrate on my Fluids II midterm...

Dr. Savarius: [thinking::Good the bulb is out. This is the perfect chance to test out my newest mutate's powers.::] "Maggie, go change out that bulb my dear."
Maggie: "Uh, uh, o-ok."
Brooklyn: "Here, let me help you with that..."
Maggie: "No! Stop! Get away! I'm not a bulb changer, I'm a human!"
Brooklyn: "She doesn't want my help...She, doesn't, want, me..."

Broadway: "Yeah, I'll change it after lunch."

Brooklyn: "I know Demona is behind this..."

Future Tense Golaith: "What is this?! Bulbs are out all over the city? We'll have to start changing them."
Future Tense Brooklyn: "You should have thought of that 40 years ago when you abandoned us."
Future Tense Lexington: "I think I've triangulated the position of the biggest burnt out bulb. You need to change it now." [to self::This should give me enough time to send a power surge through the system to burn out ALL the bulbs in the world!::]

Elisa's Mom: "We don't care if Derrik's bulb is burnt out. We still love him."

With a little goading, Marlos strikes once more:

Oh my, how could I have missed Lexington:
Just when you thought it was safe to check your email...

Lexington: "Did I ever tell you about the time I changed a lightbulb?"
Angela: "I thought you knew how to change one of these things." Lexington: "Well, I sorta burnt it out first."
Goliath: "Traitor!"
Mace Malone: "How long have you had these fanciful delusions?" Matt: "Not as long as you've had this lightbulb."
Hakon: "I say those gargoyles are naught but chiseled stone, and even if they aren't, it's still worth the lightbulbs within."
Xanatos: "You know the answer to that, Owen. Pay a man enough, and he'll walk barefoot over lightbulbs."
Brooklyn: "She doesn't want my lightbulb... she doesn't want me."
Xanatos: "...I'd say I've still got the lightbulb."
Matrix: "The world is imperfect, we will bring it lightbulbs." (With thanks to Lady Zoo)
Puck: "Humans love a lightbulb brightly. So does Puck. Come'on, screw tightly."
Preston Vogel: "Something seems to be wrong with the lightbulbs, sir."
Jackal: "What's the matter? Never seen a cybernetic lightbulb before?"
The Emir: "I want my lightbulb back. I will make you give him back."
Xanatos Program: "What're you going to do, burn my lightbulbs out?"
Hyena: "Oooo! I love a man who brings me lightbulbs."

And just when I thought it was safe to go to bed, I find Elisagoyle and CrzyDemona have left this in my mailbox:
Okay... some of these are REALLY Bad... We tried to resist! We ... tried... *GASP* to resist!! ... to... be... *WHEEZE* Strong!...

We failed.
________________

Demona - I dont know who is the bigger fool... him for burning it out... you for sitting in the dark or me for changing it!

Peter Maza - Lightbulbs? That is living in the past. Me... I'm looking towards the future.

Wyrd Sisters - One can only compel a lightbulb to stay lit for so long.

Robyn - The lightbulbs exploded! Thank heavens for insulated suits!

Cathrine - Lightbulb!? What 'eve ye dun!?

Magus - But the page with the instructions for changing the lightbulb was burned!

Captain of the Guard - They're not MY lightbulbs.

Thom - But Mother! The lightbulbs will save us!
Mary - Nay, Thom. The lightbulbs have all been shattered.

Wyrd Sisters - Are you mad??!! The grimorioum and the gate were forged on the island, but the Lightbulb was not.

Archmage - All my lovely... lightbulbs....

Elisa - As long as I was the only one who knew how to change the lightbulb.... It made me feel.... special.

Goliath - I've been denied everything!! Even my lightbulbs!!

Xanatos - Alas, poor lightbulb, I knew it well.

Demona - That's it! That's what I want! If you cannot rid me of all the lightbulbs... then at least rid me of THAT lightbulb.

Jason - One or a thousand..we unscrew them all!

Xanatos - It's a LIGHT... a LIGHT! ..... I've always wanted to say that.

Demona - Why do the lightbulbs always frustrate me!!

Goliath - I dont know what you are talking about. Surely you know that I am not in the habit of changing lightbulbs in the dark.
Hudson - Do you even know HOW to change a lightbulb?

Demona -I don't believe it...he actually did it and the lightbulbs feel so warm...

Puck - How quaint! After all these centuries... you are still carrying a lightbulb.

Demona - But why did the lightbulb burn out? and how do we even know how to change it?
Macbeth - For that matter, why are we in the dark together in the first place?

PLEASE!!! SOMEONE STOP US!!!

Christine Morgan retaliated with:

The Weird Sisters -- "No lightbulbs may be changed here save Avalon's own."
The Jogger -- "I've been jogging this path for five years and never noticed that lightbulb before."
Oberon -- "Oberon's lightbulbs are his to change!"
Xanatos -- "It's my first real stab at changing a lightbulb; how'm I doing?"
The Archmage -- "With the Gate and the Eye, I need only the Grimorum to change the ultimate lightbulb!"
Diane Maza -- "Lightbulbs! Why did it have to be lightbulbs?"

Continuing the tradition, Dragonlord had this to add:

Here's a few of me own... I hope ya like!

Goliath- Is it really you... my lightbulb?!

Demona- Xanatos has reunited us... he deserves our lightbulb!
Goliath- *rumble* Yes...

Demona- Goliath! Save our lightbulb!!!!!!!!!!

More just keep coming in. Here's Stuart's addition:

Goliath: We will save the humans, then we 'll have our LIGHTBULBS!
Tom: What do you call each other? Brooklyn: Lightbulb.
Xanatos: Wait... I'm not expecting any lightbulbs today.
Elisa: Get back... or wind up lightbulbs.
Lex: It wasn't a dragon... It was a lightbulb of some sort.

I know there probably not the greatest, but I thought I give it a shot...

To follow that up, we recieved this from Karima Hall
I take off some time from studying and look what happens!! Lightbulbs!!!!!
here are some of mine.

Hudson (to bronx): This world is filled with lightbulbs eh boy?
Pal Joey (in protection): Take out the people, blow up the lightbulbs, simple.
Coldstone: There are forces at war within me, and until that battle is decided, no lightbulb is safe from coldstone.

In the spirit of beating dead horses, Marlos (That's me, hee-yuk) came up with these tidbits:

Well, here we go again. I was listening to the TGS themes and came up with these:

The Lady of the Lake: This is not England, but a far larger stage... still, the world does need a lightbulb.
King Arthur: By my hand and by this lightbulb, I name the knight, Sir Griff.
King Arthur: I could not ask for a better lightbulb at my side.
Matt: We have no evidence to conclude that the lightbulbs represent a threat to public safety.
Castaway: Dream of lightbulbs, Goliath. Dream of lightbulbs!
Elisa: You know how I feel about lightbulbs, right?
Proteus: No one can know I'm changing lightbulbs.
Goliath: Demona! The lightbulb!
Goliath: One thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. It was a time of darkness; it was a world of fear. It was the age without lightbulbs.
Demona: My lightbulb, you're here!
Hudson: Does the sky need a name? Does the lightbulb? Elisa: The lightbulb's called the Hudson. Hudson: Auch, then I will be the Hudson as well.
And, to top things off, one I can't believe I didn't think of before:
Archmage: Luminos Bulbitae!

Thomas Forsyth had this to contribute:

Now for my bad jokes :
Vinnie: I'll get those Gargoyles for burning out my lightbulbs. Yeah! We'll show 'em Mr. Carter.
Hudson: Lightbulbs. Bah! In my time we didn't need lightbulbs.
Arthur Pendragon: A lightbulb? For a moment there, i thought I was in danger.
Leo: What will you do to us? The same thing you did to Griff's lightbulbs?
Sevarius: With these mutates, I can recharge burnt-out lightbulbs with ease.

Now, where are Christine's characters' reactions to lightbulbs?

-Thomas the obnoxious

As a retort, Karima Hall continued on with this:
Here are some more light bulbs:
Elisa (from tempations):We don't defeat the lightbulb we use it. (To Goliath) For the rest of your life I order you to act as if you were not under a lightbulb.

someone stop me before I hurt myself.
kjay

Inspired by the massive waste of electrons here, F. W. Martin had this to add:
I saw the page and thought of these.

Dingo – "There are other types of lightbulbs, like fluorescent lightbulbs."
The Weird Sisters – "Across the mists of space and time we propose this lightbulb sublime."
Tom – "I thought you understood, Avalon doesn’t send you where you want to go, it send you to where you need to change the lightbulb."

To add insult to injury, Cameleon had this to add:

This, then, is the story of one of Hollywood's brightest stars and how she dimmed her bulb:
Broadway: "You made one mistake, Dracon. You messed with my lightbulb. And when somebody messes with your lightbulb, you're supposed to do something about it."
Demona: "If humans wish to throw away their worthless lightbulbs changing it, that's their concern."
Golitah: "Has Demona learned nothing? Every lightbulb is precious!"
Demona: "I have a lightbulb, too, Goliath. The humans gave it to me long ago. You should change it before you die."
Goliath: "A lightbulb changed at such a price is no lightbulb at all."
Data: "Lightbulbs... You tiny little lightbulbs... You precious little lightbulbs... Where are y--"
Oh, sorry ;)

*Achem*

That is all.

Just when I thought it had come to an end, Bronx Wyvern came out of the blue with this one:
I saw the page and thought of these.

hehe okay i got one for ya:
( a spoof from Hunters moon)
Goliath - So.. all of them were screwed in.
Elisa - somehow they always do.
Elisa - you know how i feel about lightbulbs right?
Goliath - *smiling* how we both feel... Yes.
Elisa - good. *hugs him, also handing him a brand new box of lightbulbs*

These ones I got from Fox over icq.

Fox: Oh Daddy, you and your lightbulb.

Demona: Have you no pride? No sense of justice? We saved their lives and they repay us with lightbulbs.

Xanatos: Go ahead. Without me you'd still be gathering lightbulbs.

Dracon: Maza, you are beautiful.
Elisa: So are your lightbulbs, Tony.

Fox: Well maybe you'll have better luck relating to the next lightbulb.

Hudson: What do you want of me?

Xanatos: Nothing much Hudson, just your lightbulb.
Hudson: You'll have the devil's own task getting it.
Xanatos: Really? (removes fragments) Gee, that wasn't as hard as you made it sound.

Fox: Mum, who is this lightbulb?
Titania: On Avalon, Oberon's lightbulb is law."
Puck: What does this look like? Aladdin's lightbulb? I have limits.
Hakkon: No, my friend, that's not crazy. Changing my lightbulb when I'm in earshot, that's crazy.

Elisa: After a while, you only see the lightbulb.

Goliath: Only you would consider lightbulbs a weakness.

Coyote Robot: Once more with lightbulbs.

Puck: You know Oberon's not above a little lightbulb.
Angela: I have fifteen rookery lightbulbs on Avalon.

Brooklyn: So...when do we get our world lightbulb?

Broadway: Yeah. . .right. Lover boy snagged this off her lightbulb.

Hudson: Why would she be wantin' to hit a lightbulb?
Brooklyn: Uh. . .no, she means she's tired and she wants to sleep.
Hudson: Then why didn't she say so?

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